Airport freeloading

Air travel is a pain.
Security measures take ages and are conducted by hatchet-faced little Hitlers with an axe to grind against the world.
But airports are a bustling hive of freeloading opportunity.

Nestle Swiss Chocolat Brut

So, once you've taken off your shoes, put your hair gel in a plastic bag (why!?) and had your nether regions probed by security a drone, you can get your snout well and truly in the freebie trough.
And on a recent trip out of Blighty I did just that.
The duty free shop staff with their painted on faces and perma-tans are ever eager to try and sell you some unheard of whisky from Loch Nescafe, or Laphroag-in-your-throat.
Also they use dull old everyday spirits and try to get you to buy them by whizzing up exciting coctktails, which they dole out, gratis.
So, with this in mind, it's a good strategy to hover near the small tables bedecked with little plastic sampling cups until approached, then it looks like it's their idea.

Jameson's Whiskey

I did this and was rewarded with some obscure Nothern Isles Scotch whose name escapes me - let's just call it Islay-on-my-back-while-you-pour-it-into-my-mouth.
I also loitered around the chocolates, needing an early morning sugar rush after lugging my luggage across London to Heathrow Airport.

Paco Rabanne Million

It wasn't long before a helpful chap appeared, as if by magic, proferring a tray of Nestle's Swiss Chocolat Brut... so naturally I tucked in, thanked the kind-hearted cove and marched on in search of more zero deniro quarry (Incidentally if Nestle is reading this, I didn't get a chance to try the milk chocolate ones, so you could send me a box if you like).
It wasn't long before my quest was successful again.
This time more alcohol, thankfully.
The familiar flavour of Jameson's Irish Whiskey, but obviously I had to pretend I was a newcomer to the welcoming aroma and smooth flavour of the Emerald Isle liquor.
Then, just before going to my gate, I partook of a liberal spraying of a free tester Paco Rabanne Million to freshen up before the flight.
All in all a good hour of freeloading.