Plasa 2012 - Trade show freeloading

Throughout my career as a shameless freeloader I have come to realise that some of the best places to acquire gratis goods are trade shows.

The token trinkets are often fairly dull, like branded pencils/pens, lanyards or keyrings.

But more exciting quarry can be had too as I found at this year’s Plasa event, held a couple of weeks ago at London’s Earl’s Court.

Stalls at Plasa, which is an exhibition of music equipment, concert rigging and other such stuff, were stacked with free bags and complimentary cookies.

Not very interesting you may think.  

And you’d be right.

But with a little research there is gold to be found amid the mud.

I found out that by attending two mind-meltingly dull demos at the show I could get a pair of £35 Sennheiser/Adidas earphones.

Prior to this the best freebies I’d snaffled had been free ice cream and a glass of Diet Coke.

But, as the afternoon wore on the big potatoes were wheeled out, namely a free bar.

As I quaffed glass after glass of free indeterminate lager with Jaegermeister chasers I inspected my (obviously branded) bag of goodies.

The haul included, four lanyards, a car air freshener, a pencil, a pen, two bags, the aforementioned earphones and, bizarrely, a packet of Cadbury’s Chocolate Buttons.

As I sat there I silently toasted another successful freeloading expedition – cheers!

• Do you have something I can freeload? Email me shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk

Bluebeard's Revenge shaving products

USUALLY a skull and crossbones denotes a toxic or hazardous substance or danger ahead.

But thanks to Bluebeard's Revenge, the newest shaving experts on the block, the 'jolly' has been put back into the Jolly Roger.

The only “arghhh” you'll get with these shaving creams and post-shave balms is the one you'll be making when impersonating a pirate while staring at your foamy face in the mirror, rather than a reaction to skin irritation or razor burn associated with so many shaving products.

 

And the man love doesn't end there, for the interior of the packaging features information and advice about male cancers from the Orchid charity. 

Now, I may not be the ideal candidate for anti-face fuzz fanatics Bluebeard's, as a bearded/stubbled cove, but I used it for tidying up my errant face furniture.

And a fine job it did too!

Bluebeard's Revenge also boasts a 'secret ingredient' which, in time, inhibits the growth of hair... Follicly-challenged folk such as Shane Warne, Graham Gooch and Jimmy White best steer clear then!

My experience with the witch hazel laced substances was nothing but positive.

I lathered up my face with the shaving cream using the brush also supplied by Bluebeard's, and the razor just glided across my bum fluff, tidying the edges of my 'designer stubble'/beard.

I then finished off with the secret potion post-shave balm to hopefully fend off those pesky hairs.

I'd heartily recommend it me hearties, yo, ho, ho.

All together now: “Arghhh!!”

 

• For more information go to www.bluebeards-revenge.co.uk or follow on Twitter @thebluebeards

• Do you have a product or service I can freeload? Email shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk or follow me on Twitter @thefreeloader1

Electric Zebra electronic cigarettes

Electronic cigarettes have been in the news recently – with one vaping wally on a coach managing to cause a terror alert on the M6 toll road, by blowing his gaseous discharge into a plastic bag giving fellow passengers the heebie-jeebies.

But this blog post aims to paint the contraptions in a more positive light.

You see the problem is he was trying to hide what he was doing – although Lord knows why since 'vaping' on public transport is perfectly legal.

Perhaps our H2-doh! breather was puffing on one which looked indistinguishable from a real ciggie and was eager to not alert the overzealous eyes of the 'smokefree' elf 'n' safety Stasi.

This would not have been a problem had our hero been happily inhaling an Electric Zebra.

For the Elec-Zeb's USP is it's distinctiveness – namely it's zebra stripes and green glowing LED 'cherry'.

I'd defy even the dumbest anti-terror Plod to mistake this otherworldly machine for an actual cigarette.

Though, despite their anti-cig aesthetics, Electric Zebra sure does taste like the real thing.

With menthol, US tobacco and UK tobacco flavours in their arsenal they have all smokers' bases covered.

And they can be plugged into the mains to recharge or a USB port in your PC.

Personally I prefer the menthol variety, which pack a satisfying punch in the throat, without all the carcinogenic nasties prevalent in those things that contain that stuff Sir Walter Raleigh brought back, in the world's first duty free trip abroad.

All of which means these Zebras won't leave you feeling horse (sorry, hoarse).

The wallet-friendly gaspers work out cheaper than conventional cigarettes too, with disposables at £4.95 (equal to 20 cigarettes) and rechargeable starter packs at £25.95, including a free case and five refill cartridges (each equal to 20 cigarettes).

The stylish packaging also features a stubble-faced chap who has got the girl too, making smoking as cool as it was when Sean Connery's James Bond sparked up a fag at a card table.

The name's Freeloader, Shameless Freeloader.

Electric Zebras look a bit like something Bond's gadget man “Q” would cook up too!

For more info, go to www.electriczebra.com

Do you have a product I can freeload? Email shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk

Hugo is the Boss of pretty puny freebies!

Usually I like to use this site to wax lyrical about some fabulous freebie I've managed to blag through my capacity as the most shameless of freeloaders.

But, on this occasion I have to be slightly critical.

Great though it is to get unsolicited freebies, I really must protest at the frankly skinflintedness of one of the world's leading scent manufacturers.

Sadly not actual size!

 Forgive me for biting a hand that is feeding me, but a postcard with Orlando Bloom on it (good thing he was labelled as I'd not have recognised his grinning visage without him badly attempting to shoot a bow and arrow), with 0.075ml (0.0025 fl oz) of aftershave appended to it, does not a good freebie make!

I could barely do that wrist-rubbing thing with this drop of pungent parfum!

Although, judging by the postmark, perhaps Hugo exhausted his marketing budget by mailing this particular Bloom-a-gram from Hong Kong.

This is to date the worst freebie I've received, but oddly, in it's sheer triviality it occupies a fond place in my own pantheon of pointlessness.

If anyone from Hugo Boss is reading this and would like me to seriously review your products, obviously in exchange for more than a postage stamp-sized portion, please get in touch: shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk

deadmau5 at Wireless Festival, Hyde Park

Animal-headed deities supposedly went out with the Ancient Eqyptians, but there I was in Hyde Park last week enjoying a positively religious experience, dancing to a small man with a mouse's head.

Or should that be mau5head?

For the scrawny chap conducting this pumping paganistic party was the one and only deadmau5.

I had come up trumps in the freeloading department once again as two shiny tickets arrived for the BarclayCard Wireless Festival on July 6th.

Torrential rain had rendered the park a tad muddy – but as this was only the first day of a three-day festival, I was quite pleased to give my £6 Wellington boots a rare and not too punishing airing.

Prior to the retired-from-life rodent, Knife Party proved a popular and banging alternative in the Pepsi Max Arena to Roots, who performed to near ambivalence on the Main Stage (clearly acoustic hip-hop wasn't the best choice warm-up material for deadmau5... who'd of thunk of it?!).

Fans of banging bladed bonhomie were not disappointed as the DJ duo smashed it, with a fast-paced combo of house, trance, electro and dubstep.

As the sun began to set over the park mau5 fans (and a group of lads dressed as Kermit the Fog) scurried to the now Roots-vacated Main Stage for the arrival of 'Le Souri5 Mort'.

And what a set he played; Raise Your Weapon, Sofi Needs a Ladder and Moar Ghosts N Stuff were highlights of a stunning audiovisual spectacle.

This was not the first time I've seen deadmau5 for free either... it's my third, and on this form all I can say is long may the freebies continue!

Do you have something I can freeload in exchange for a preview or review? Email shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk and follow on Twitter @thefreeloader1

Sacla is a winner, and there's no need for penalties!

With Italy besting England on penalties I wanted to take out my frustration and anger on Sacla's Italian sauces, pasta and pastes.

But the rich Mediterranean flavours had me full of amore once more for Italian cuisine.

I was sent another box of delights.

What arrived at Freeloader House was as refined and sophisticated as Italy's midfield maestro Andrea Pirlo, rather than bland and disappointing like England's James Milner.

Assorted treats included a box of beautiful conchiglie pasta shells, which when combined with tomato and olive sauce (again Sacla's) went down like a Ukrainian electric storm.

And while this Euro 2012 analogy is looking as tired as Scott Parker after a shift in midfield, I have to say the huge tub of Italian tomato sauce really hit the back of the net.
Other new additions to Sacla's range are vine-ripened tomato and mascarpone sauce and Italian tomato and olive paste.

I wonder if, in some Italian village or town, there's an 'Il Caricatore Gratuito Blog' where an anonymous chap spends his time reviewing Melton Mowbray pork pies or some other English staple.For more info go to www.sacla.co.uk

• Do you have a product I can freeload? Email me shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk

Vapestick electronic cigarettes

Having tried (and failed) to get free cigarettes I decided to attempt to freeload the next best thing - e-cigs.
And I enjoyed considerably better success with mechanical gaspers than the real thing.
Well I say "real thing", but thanks to those boffins at Vapestick, who kindly sent me 600 cigarette's worth of their product, tobacco-filled fags may no longer be top toke for us long-suffering and increasingly ostracised smokers.
Vapesticks are futuristic-looking contraptions, with lightsaber-like blue glowing tips when you take a drag, and best of all it actually feels like smoking.
You even breathe out a satisfying volume of smoke-like water vapour - and you can blow vape-rings!

But, unlike cigarettes, these babies beat the smoking ban and have none of the horrible by-products like carbon monoxide, tar or smoke.
They come in regular and menthol disposable varieties, which have about 500 draws worth of nicotine, and a rechargeable version with mains and USB charging options.

And the product has celeb backing.

Leonardo DiCaprio vapes, as well as Katherine 'clean lungs' Heigl, Britney 'now not-so-toxic' Spears, Charlie 'winning' Sheen and Lindsay 'Li-Lo no tar' Lohan.

All these and many more enjoy a good pull on an e-cig for the same reason – they’re an excellent alternative to smoking and can be used anywhere where lighting up has long since been outlawed.

King of cool Johnny Depp was even seen ‘vaping’ away on a train in the movie The Tourist.
So if it's good enough for Jack Sparrow, it's good enough for me. 

So how does it work?
Here's the science bit, concentrate...

* For more info go to http://www.vapestick.co.uk/

** Do you have a product I can freeload in exchange for a review?
Email: shamelessfreeloader@hotmail.co.uk